don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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