What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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