oh god the rape fog is back!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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