Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
