i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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