There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Even my vagina gasped.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
