He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Can Purell be used as lube?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Randomize
