I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
