no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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