yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
People in love make me want to vomit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
