Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
