I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
