So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize