I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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