i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
