Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My hand turned me down
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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