Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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