I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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