he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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