the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Text me some of your sweat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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