I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize