I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There r osticjed everywhere
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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