only if we run a train.
done.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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