wrigley field is MILF paradise
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In other news, I just burned my penis
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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