Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize