I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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