So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
