In America we eat man semen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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