so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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