What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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