MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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