$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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