He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
