; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize