if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
