Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
