Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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