Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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