Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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