Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
