I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
