Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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