Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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