oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
