She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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