Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
