I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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