my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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