Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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