Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize