one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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