I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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