The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
