Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize