Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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