Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
